Back from the Dead -- Part Two

I would like to thank everyone once again for the prayers, cards, well-wishes, etc. that I received during another stay at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital. It sounds melodramatic, but I was actually lurking near death. Thank God for the quick thinking of Dr. Julie Schindler and the actions taken by the staff at TMH.I had developed pulmonary emboli (which I think is a scary doctor term for blood clots) on both sides of my lungs and I have some infarction in my lungs (dead tissue). I have to take blood thinner for the next six months and have my blood checked every week for six months.Doctors also told me that I have a fatty heart and a fatty liver. If I don't have something done soon, it could be critical or even fatal for me.Right now, I don't have insurance and I am looking at a couple of different options -- such as medically needy Medicaid and vocational rehabilitation -- to help me pay for any treatment that I need.I wasn't able to make it to work today (Thursday) because I was so weak. I did work all day yesterday and I am going to try to make it tomorrow.Please continue to remember me, my health needs and my family's financial needs in your prayers. When I'm not able to work, I don't get paid.If you haven't ordered a copy of my book My Life on Rollercoasters yet, I urge you to at http://www.amazon.com/My-Life-Roller-Coasters-Learned/dp/1434830802/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1206658930&sr=8-1Either copy and paste the link into your browser bar or go to Amazon.com and type in "Jacob Bembry" or "My Life on Rollercoasters" and it will take you to the pageThanks for everything, especially the prayers because without God, I could do nothing

Letting People Down

I feel like I've let people down. I didn't mean to but it happened.
My recent illness and surgery have left me exhausted, tired, bushed, beaten. The time that I've had to miss at work has hurt me, not only financially, but it has hurt me because I feel that I am letting others at work down by my absence. There's work that needs to be done and I know that I can do it.
I had volunteered to do work for others. It had nothing to do with my job and it wasn't church volunteer work, but I know that they were depending on me, but I had to withdraw myself from it because of the exhaustion. Oh boy, I'm getting exhausted talking about being exhausted.
I want to be a blessing and not a stumbling block for others. As slow as I was going, I figured that it was probably best that I pull over and park beside the road and let the rest of the parade pass.
I know that God is in control of all things and He will work things out according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. If I have let anyone down, I pray that Christ Jesus lift them back up.

God's Grace and God's Face

I wrote the following column for "Jacob's Ladder," my newspaper column in the Madison Enterprise-Recorder (www.greenepublishing.com) while I was bedridden in Tallahassee Memorial Hospital. It is entitled "God's Grace and God's Face":
God’s Grace and God’s Face
I realize that I’ve stayed away from certain things many times, only by the grace of God. The blessings of my life, especially my salvation, are from the generous grace of Jesus Christ. As I lie here in a hospital bed, writing this column, I realize I owe my life to Jesus Christ and to the skillful surgical team at TMH (Tallahassee Memorial Hospital). The comfort I feel here, I owe to God’s grace and the work of the nursing team here at TMH. When I think of all the major trouble I could have gotten into over the many years -- drugs, alcohol, etc. -- I realize I owe that to God’s face. Everyone is created in the image of God. I know that as a Christian, I should set a shining example and not disappoint anyone. The look of disappointment -- on faces that I know are God’s face -- keep me from doing these things. I have stumbled more times than I can count, but I have not fallen, thanks to God’s grace and God’s face.

God Shouted At Me

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." C.S. Lewis
God shouted to me during my recent hospitalization and illness, which I am still recovering from. He seemed to yell, "Jacob, do a better job of taking care of yourself. Lose weight. Eat healthy. Be more careful. Get to the doctor sooner when you are sick."
God almost seemed to shout, "You can't take others' problems on your shoulders all the time. You have a big enough burden to bear. Do what you can but let Me have control."
Finally, God shouted in my pain, "Worship me. Take more time for Bible study and prayer. Worship Me."

Eating Chicken Can Be Painful

I found out last week what was causing my physical pain. It was not appendicitis, as I had thought, but it was dangerous and almost deadly.
The pain persisted in my right side until I finally went to the emergency room on Sunday afternoon, March 2, 2008. After the doctor examined me and CT scans were run on my stomach, nothing was found. They admitted me to the hospital for observation. The next day, my doctor, Julie Schindler, came in and took one look at me and said, "You're not going anywhere yet" and told me she couldn't send me home. Later that day, she made arrangements with Dr. Eliot Sieloff in Tallahassee to accept me as a patient. As soon as a bed became available at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital, I was transported via ambulance by my friends, Rob Covell and Jimmy Kent, to TMH.
As soon as I arrived at TMH, I was immediately taken into emergency exploratory surgery, where Dr. Sieloff found what had happened and took care of it immediately. It seemed that a chicken bone had gotten stuck in my small intestine and had lodged there, causing an infection. Dr. Sieloff said that one thing that kept the infection from spreading further was a belly button hernia that I have.
God is good and gracious to have spared my life and to have granted me relief from that pain. It was so bad that I could not stand up straight and anytime I moved, it was wrenching.
I thank Dr. Sieloff and all the wonderful nurses at TMH. Most of all, though, I thank God.
I'm so glad to be home now with my family. I thank God for them.

Have I Done Something Wrong?

I'm hurting.
I am in pain, both physically and emotionally.
The emotional pain is worse than the sharp pain in the lower right quadrant of my abdomen that I fear is caused by a hernia or by appendicitis.
The emotional pain is caused by news I received about an hour ago. My nephew, Ryan, was in a car wreck last week that I only found out about today. My brother-in-law told me about it and told me that my sister had left him for an older man.
My youngest niece expressed her fears of having to choose between her father and her mother.
I know that any emotional pain that I am facing is not as rough as it is in that family, but that family is part of my family and I hurt for them.
I was thinking yesterday that I put so much time and energy into working on things at work, at church, for my family, for different people. I don't spend enough time doing things for God. I don't pay my tithes as often as I should. I don't pray as often as I should. When I do pray, it's a cry of help. It's not cries of praise and worship. I don't read the Bible as often as I should. I don't read Christian books as often as I should. The assistant pastor at my church gave me two books that she had written and had published. One of them is about dealing with pain. I need to read it and, more importantly, I need to read the Bible and pray.
So many times, I have asked myself lately, do things like this happen because I have not been honoring God the way I should.
I ask you to pray for me and to pray for my sister and her family!

My Life on Rollercoasters

Many moons ago, I went to Disney World for Grad Night and I rode on a rollercoaster for the first time. I was anxious and nervous but not because I was scared of riding on the rollercoaster. I was actually looking forward to the ride. I was anxious and nervous because the girl I was riding with had never ridden a rollercoaster before and she expressed her fear that she might throw up. I had a pair of brand new dress shoes on (I don't know how the dress code is now, but, for Grad Night, guys had to wear a white shirt, a tie and dress shoes). I was worried that my shoes would get messed up and I had to wear those new shoes and not my trusty T,G & Y sneakers for graduation.
I took my first ride on a rollercoaster on Space Mountain. It was a piece of cake. It didn't scare me at all or bother me. At least it didn't bother me until we took the bus ride home. All day, on the bus ride from Lake Buena Vista back to Monticello, my stomach churned and I felt like I would throw up. I didn't care if I did it on the school bus (no charter buses for a poor public school like Jefferson County High) or on my brand new dress shoes, either! Who needed shoes to get gussied up for graduation? Not me. I didn’t care if I wore a pair of rubber boots I had worn to work at the dairy the summer before. I just need relief from the constant churning.
Fast-forward a few moons to 1999. I was at Wild Adventures near Valdosta, Georgia that day with my nephew, Ryan, and my youngest niece, Shannan. I had not ridden a rollercoaster since I had been a teenager. Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain Railroad were the only ones I had ridden in my life. Ryan suggested that we try out the Boomerang. I looked up at the huge monster, towering in the sky. I said, "Okay." Boy, I was about to find out the difference between Space Mountain and the Boomerang. First of all, you ride Space Mountain in the dark. Second of all, it was the light of day and I could perfectly see all those people on the ground below like ants. Third of all, I was more worried about my shoes getting messed up at Disney World but I had since developed a healty fear of heights. Fourth of all, my then 10-year-old nephew had negotiated so we could get seats at the front of the Boomerang and had said, "Well, I guess I've lived long enough. I guess I'm ready to die."
I rode the whole thing at the front, and I managed not to scream - even when the Boomerang stopped with me, riding in the front at the top (and not sure if the thing was broken) and then whipped everyone on board backwards. I knew then why it was called the Boomerang.
I disembarked from the Boomerang with my chest pounding harder than it ever had before. Ryan looked at me and said, "That was fun! Let's do it again!"
"No way!" I screamed back at him.
My life is like a rollercoaster. I have good days and bad days - sometimes on the same day. Life is full of twists and turns and bumps and burns. There are days that I worry about something as minute as getting vomit on my brand new dress shoes and there are days that I have to look up in the sky at a monster of a rollercoaster and say. "What the heck? I'll take a ride."
Through it all, I know that the Holy Spirit goes with me, giving me comfort, even if I'm going through a dark tunnel on Space Mountain or getting whipped backwards on the Boomerang.
Jesus told His disciples of a Comforter who would come and be with them, when he had gone: "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)
I have that Comforter with me on the rollercoaster called my life.